My 52-Weekly Journal: Week 06 // In These Little Arms, I Find The World

…and this is Natalie’s picture when she was 4, riding her first tricycle! Isn’t she the most adorable thing?

I had never been able to quite understand my parents as a teen.

They simply wouldn’t stop embarrassing me in front of everyone, as if there’s no other topic than what I just did recently. I mean, Mom, that lady who’s always wearing that weird necklace probably had heard about how I aced that running competition in third grade like 1,876 times already, and Dad, why is it that when I visited your office for the first time ever everybody greeted me like they’d known me since that day I fell from my bike in kindergarten?

“One day, when you’re a parent yourself, you’ll understand..” is the answer I usually get whenever I ask them to stop doing it.

But I didn’t understand, I made a promise to myself that my kids wouldn’t have to worry that I would tell everyone about that one time they got really sleepy that they fell asleep on a plate of their favorite pasta. Never.

It wasn’t until after I answered yes to my other half’s will you marry me that it stopped.

I first noticed it when we were fitting my dress. I was gorgeous. Like do you remember how Bella Swan from Twilight stepped out in her wedding dress and how she was mesmerized by her own look? How I looked back then would have made Bella Swan looked like a pile of horse dung. I wouldn’t stop talking about how stunning I was in that dress and I thought that’d be the case too with my parents. But it wasn’t.

When I opened the door of the fitting room to show my parents how I was (I looked stunning btw, just in case you’d forgotten), my mother had the biggest smile on her lips, a little tear in her eyes, and a simple “You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen, and this comes from a woman who thought nobody would ever topped how she looked on her wedding day” from her mouth. My father was a talker, very social, always the life of the party, but he could only said “My little girl…” and hugged me so tightly it almost ruined the dress in the process, come on Dad!

And never a word to anyone else, not even when that lady who’s always wearing a scarf even when it’s the hottest day of summer asked how the wedding preparation’s going, which definitely would lead to a three-hours talk about how good I looked on that dress. But no, Mom’s answer was a simple “It’s going great!”.

As happy as I was that it stopped, I kinda missed it. Well I guess you don’t really know what you had till it’s gone. But then as time went by, and my new life kicked in, and I’m busy wth everything else, I got used to it.

All of a sudden, I’m pregnant.

My parents were there of course, too much there even. Well it’s their first grandchild so I could understand that. They were always panicking about everything: about how I wasn’t eating healthy enough (I gained 15 kilos, how is that not eating healthy enough), about how I was not doing the right sport (uh I think swimming when I’m 32 weeks into my pregnancy was kinda not right too Mom), about how I wasn’t listening to the right kinda music (sorry Dad, I’d rather have my kid listen to the Beatles than Beethoven!).

And just like that, nine months passed in the blink of an eye. And there he came, my little baby boy.

It’s a weird feeling really, I’d been carrying him practically everywhere for the past nine months. Literally everywhere, that’s basically the closest I will ever be with him forever, ever. But when I held him for the first time, that little, wrinkly thing that doesn’t even weight half of how much I gained (dammit I’m fat), I realized immediately that my world had changed. “My world” had become something so small that as exhausted as I was, I could still hold “my world” in my arm.

Shamefully tho, it wasn’t until (probably) the 7,694th time of telling my Mom about little Dan’s (the baby’s name) first wobbly step that I realized, and stopped abruptly with my mouth half opened. A little “ah…” from my mouth, a little smile from my Mom who said…

“Told you one that you’d understand..”

Gosh.

But seriously guys, have I told you about little Dan’s first, wobbly step?

***

Hi Guys!
So I’m trying something new here, not only that I’m trying to write from a woman’s point of view, I’m trying to make fiction!
Oh well it’s all kinda new for me, so if you have any opinion, that’d be great. I’m open for anything!

Thanks for reading!

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3 thoughts on “My 52-Weekly Journal: Week 06 // In These Little Arms, I Find The World

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